it's not a dream anymore: Archive

Wishing someone would just say it was going to be okay. Someone to hold me, my hand, try to make it go away. Letting things get in the way of what’s important. What’s right, what to do. Is it you against me? Or me against you? Or are we on the same team? Is there something that I’m missing… Trying to sort out my thoughts, what I feel. Somehow never comes out right. I...

Dec 21st

I miss writing...

I cannot mask the loneliness inside my heartI’ve decided I’ll be better on the other sideCannot erase what has been felt my whole lifeI try, but failI now know this is my destinyMy fate, for I cannot make this go awayHere comes the bowling ball ready to knock me overHere comes the tornado ready to sweep me awayHere comes the storm ready to drown meHere comes the world ready to exile...

Jun 24th

I wrote something, but decided it was too sad to share.

Jun 24th

I have a life too. Thanks.

Apr 18th

Dec 8th

113 notes

I knew you’d leave. So thanks. Don’t even bother. Please.

Nov 11th

I was going to write this big long thing about how much YOU guys suck, BUT now I don’t give a fuck. I’m happy! :D

Nov 9th

Between you, my brother, and my favorite artist, not very much can keep me staying down. So thank you<3

Nov 9th

You're the stars to my sky

So basically, thanks for making it possible to stay intact, sane, calm, throughout all this shit I’ve been putting up with. Thanks for being there, letting me cry, letting me know you’re here by my side, understanding, listening. Thanks for making this all worth it for once. Sometimes, I really don’t know what I’d do without you. You fill in all these gaps in my heart....

Nov 6th

Is it time to go home yet?

I love how you ask all these things of me. I listen to every damn word you say. I’ve done every fuckin thing you’ve told me. But you can’t listen to me when I’m trying to tell you something IMPORTANT. You don’t understand me when it’s NECESSARY. You don’t listen to my opinions with an OPEN MIND. Did I fucking say I wasn’t going to? NO. NO. NO. NO. I...

Nov 6th

Hello. Are you there?

Remember me? I use to talk to you and we use to see each other. I was never that significant, at least I don’t think. I think maybe I could’ve been, but I’m not sure what I could’ve done differently. Reading these old conversations about you is draining. Knowing you’re around, but if I was there we wouldn’t say a single word. I’m a speck to you. A dust...

Nov 6th

I don’t know where you are today. Am I wrong? Why are you still here by my side? Ugh. I don’t care anymore.

Oct 31st

I'm drowning in a mess.

I’m screaming. I’m silent. It doesn’t matter. Sorry for the burden.

Oct 30th

You.

That look in your eyes. Am I suppose to rely on that? When you say it’s true. Am I suppose to believe you? Why is it that these feelings of unworthiness, stupidity, come crawling back to me from nowhere? Am I making this up? I hope you haven’t gone anywhere. You leave this taste of bitterness. It’s like it’s here to stay. I want it to be gone already. I’m afraid...

Oct 30th

How about...

I NOT do what you say and YOU like it. Kay?

Oct 22nd

I'll let you go to my head cause my heart can't...

Oct 18th

Everything good always goes bad.

Oct 17th

This is the last time I'm giving my heart to you.

Oct 17th

Well, I guess I have no one. Oh well.

Oct 17th

you are the best thing that's ever been mine

subtle enough? ;]

Oct 3rd

14.

I think my earliest memory is of playing around in my front yard in Portland with Skyler and this kid named Anthony. Like, this one time it snowed and the lid to the garbage was filled with water and froze to ice, and we used it to slide down the hill. Haha.

Oct 3rd

26.

I know lots of people say this, but I honestly have THE best friends anyone could ask for. Like, when I say that they are really amazing and wonderful people, I mean it<3

Oct 3rd

I don't deserve this.

Oct 3rd

I’m so happy you do too <3 :]

Oct 2nd

So, I think there’s a good chance I’m falling in love with you. I’m not sure if that’s good, or bad. Just throwing it out there.

Oct 2nd

Can I just say?

Why do I want YOU so much? Why does my heart gravitate to you?

Oct 2nd

Wow, funny how I think you have my back and then you prove me wrong. You say you care but you don’t show it. You mess with me all the time and never listen, and I don’t understand why. I don’t know what I really ever did to you to have you treat me this way, but I just feel like there’s nothing I can do. You’ll always act this way to me. I’m all alone. Oh well.

Oct 2nd

I don't want to miss you no more.

Oct 2nd

13.

I love where I live, so I wouldn’t want to move anymore unless I found some place I loved more than here, but somewhere I’ve always wanted to visit is France. Seriously, if someone took me there I’d love them forever. I took french for four years, and I am a little french, so I’d love to go there someday. Second on my list is Italy. Okay, I’m sorry, but who...

Sep 29th

25.

In my bag you would find; -My cell phone -Pepper spray -Wallet -Coin purse -Ipod -Glasses Haha. So basically, the essentials.

Sep 29th

I guess that it was wrong to fall for you at all. I don’t know what I was thinking when I thought it’d work. Maybe it’s pessimism, but I’ve been through this enough times to know. Don’t you think? I wish I had enough courage to tell you. But I’m ridiculous, so I won’t.

Sep 23rd

Thanks for being a part of my life

Sep 22nd

12.

*Kelly called. I woke up. *Hung out with Kelly. Laughed a lot. *Dreamt about bubble tea. *Ate food *Texted Alex *Went online *Took a shower Yeah.

Sep 22nd

24.

To the ones who raised me, to be honest, I don’t have anything to say to either you. I already told you how I feel. I still feel that way.

Sep 22nd

Okay. I decided not to go back and put up the stuff that I said I would. It’s a lot of work and the pictures don’t even come up. Lame..

Sep 22nd

And it’s cool. You shouldn’t be the one trying to make me feel better.

Sep 13th

It’s not even a person. Wow. I’m fucking dumb.

Sep 13th

I like you a lot. But it probably won’t happen. Don’t want to get my hopes up. You are probably just nice. And I am just being lame. And I should just stop myself while I can. I should just leave you alone. But I don’t want to pass you up. So I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do.

Sep 13th

Well, now I just feel like a loser.

Sep 13th

What I like about you; Funny. Cute. Sweet. Interesting. Good. Nice. Charming. Surprising. You make me; Smile. Laugh. Happy. Pleasantly surprised. Nervous. You give me; Butterflies. What I don’t like; I. feel. weird. liking. you. It always starts this way though, doesn’t it? I’ll get over it. Course I will. I like you.

Sep 6th

11.

1. All I Wanted-Paramore 2. Have You Tonight-The Morning Light 3. Miss Behavin’-Emery 4. Breathing Room Barricades-The Bled 5. Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers-Fall Out Boy 6. Say Anything-Good Charlotte 7. Waste My Life For You-Street To Nowhere 8. Honorable Mention-Fall Out Boy 9. Tragedy-Young Love 10. The Guillotine-Escape The Fate

Sep 6th

23.

Something I crave for a lot is pizza, like NO JOKE. I fucking love pizza. Ish the best on this fricken earth. Haha. Lately, I have also been craving the following; Burgers. Bacon. and Caesar salad. X]]]] Hmm. Yummy. Just thinking about it makes me SUPER hungry. OH. and brownies! :D YUMMMMMMMM <33333 :]

Sep 6th

Okay. It's true.

I definitely like you.

Sep 6th

10.

My first love; My first love was in nineth grade. His name was Adrian…well, we’ll just stick to his first name. He is asian, chinese and filipino specifically, wears class, is random, confusing, and a good guy who is just himself. He’s a Christian, and pretty much follows his faith with no doubts really. From what I gathered anyway. We had ceramics together. He graduated in...

Sep 6th

Haha. Sorry for all the angry posts...

Just been getting really irritated lately, and I’m just venting. :]

Sep 6th

Geez.

Yes I KNOW what I’m talking about. I do listen to that. Kay? Thanks. Oh by the way, SHUT THE EFF UP.

Sep 6th

22.

I don’t think I’m anything special, or different than anyone. But I also don’t think I’m some worthless piece of shit either. In all honesty, I am just me. I don’t think there’s anything that really differentiates me from everyone else. I’m just myself. That’s it.

Sep 6th

30.

My reflection in the mirror. Well, hello there. Did you know you never look directly at yourself in the mirror? Why is that? When you do you nit pick. You see the things that you think others see, but you know deep down they probably don’t. You can tear yourself a part, but I don’t know why. You know you don’t deserve it, and you know it doesn’t get you anywhere. You...

Sep 6th

Wow. Y’all dumb.

Sep 5th

I do, maybe I shouldn’t. I don’t want to be hurt again. I don’t know why, I’m attracted to you. You are fun, and nice…I like that. It’s not that I have to like someone, it’s just that, I am start to like you. And I can’t help that. And it wasn’t on purpose. But I won’t assume that I do. Just like I don’t assume you do. And even...

Sep 5th